As I started viewing digital images for this blog, I first selected the category of “touch” and found twenty-four pages with photos almost exclusively dedicated to our emerging world of finger pad devices, imaginative screen options, and people of all ages interacting with them.  I laughed inwardly at myself for my initial mislabeling the topic of this post, as well as “dating” myself by juxtaposing high-tech with high-touch. As I scrolled through the digital “touch” offerings, I found only a limited number of actual people touching one another. When I shifted my category to “hugging”, I did find what I was looking for – human to human contact. What happens in our brains (and bodies), when we actually make a physical connection through a direct face-to-face or touch connection?

Most of us are aware of the importance of eye contact in the initial bonding process between an infant and his/her parents.  As the child grows and develops, this intentional gazing from the primary caregivers promotes brain growth.  As the playful, positive interactions build between a child and his loving adults, smiles and laughter spontaneously flow as the neurochemistry of pleasure is activated in the brain.  The age-old game of peekaboo is a prime example of the play that occurs between the eyes of the parent and the eyes of the child.  First, comes a smile and a flash of the parent’s eyes in which the baby delights and then a quick withdrawal into hiding behind something.  When the adoring face of the parent returns, the baby becomes overjoyed.  Actually, both parties feel the surge of good feelings as they reinforce a social connectedness between brain to brain.  This is how positive mirroring begins!

With the ongoing advances in the field of Neuroscience with regard to social brain theory,  it is becoming more clear that this “eye to eye” or “face to face” gazing very likely stimulates brain functioning across the life span.  We are social beings and connecting with one another in this way does stimulate brain development.  We are a part of humanity and do need one another.  Visual recognition through smiling, talking directly to one another, laughing together, and empathic listening does activate those neural pathways of connectedness.  We do not feel so isolated and alone when engaging in these kind of communicative experiences.

Another human to human sensory experience of connection is that of touch.  Most of us enjoy being touched, cuddled, scratched, tickled, hugged, or soothed.  Unless a person has been physically violated with regard to unsafe touch, touch can provide a calming and soothing experience which often decreases stress.  As the body’s largest sense organ, our skin is comprised of sensory receptors that stimulate attachment, hormonal activation, and sexual response.  When touched safely and appropriately, the neurochemicals of dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin are released.  Because these are often labeled as the “feel good” hormones, it is natural that human beings seek out closeness and contact with other entrusted friends, family members, and loving partners.  As social animals we need contact.  Studies have documented that soft touch and the comfortable warmth of being held triggers the secretion of oxytocin and endorphins, as well as lowers levels of stress hormones in the bloodstream.

If  both making direct eye contact and engaging in soft, caring touch is beneficial to our brain stimulation & stress reduction, how does one increase his or her level of these encounters in a respectful and appropriate manner on a daily or weekly basis?  In what ways, can opportunities to benefit from touching and being touched, as well as having “face to face” interactions be enhanced? Be creative: schedule massages, trade back-rubs with a friend or partner, meet a friend weekly for coffee/tea/lunch to set up  impromptu discussions, go out dancing or take a dancing class, have a games night with family or friends, take martial arts, find a pet to nurture, and engage in activities that involve movement and touch.  This is highly individualistic and up to the comfort level of the person.  However, taking an informal assessment of your level of personal engagement with others can move you in the direction of a greater sense of connectedness and community.  Be assured that as you increase both, your brain will release higher levels of the “feel good” hormones which are stress relievers.